Wednesday 22nd April 1998
Last night I again visited Bob and Cordelia. I had agreed to provide a 12 pack of bud in exchange for an ogle at Cordelia (I can ogle Bob any time I want).
I tried to get Bob in the mood by suggesting the image of Tony Blair in a dominatrix uniform as I suspect him of being a closet socialist.
He did not appreciate the idea so I rang him and suggested that he might prefer John Major in a gas mask and rubber. If I had wanted to be unkind I would say John needed the gas mask given Bob sulphurous emissions.
I did get to ogle Cordelia but was too busy laughing as Bob accused me of being a twisted pervert (which is rich considering he is the one with the girlfriend).
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Thursday 23rd April 1998
A momentous day -
MY FIRST HEART ATTACK!
I lay with my eyes rolling uncontrollably and my body was stitched with pockets each full of lead. It can't have been very serious as I maintained bladder control.
This gives me a good reason to want Cordelia as my mate.
She can change my adult diapers and give me bed baths.
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